My Family

I went on a campout this weekend and had a blast. My friend Melissa came with me and I am glad she did. I would not have gone other wise. I was able to meet new people and get out of my little bubble of shyness for at least a weekend. Something that really hit me this weekend was something that was said during a spiritual thought by an old friend. He talked about how he might have been able to help someone stay in the church if he had not been ashamed of them and had just been their friend. I have this friend that wanted to be going to church with me and I took this person a few times but really did not want them there. I was just starting to go back to church and I did not want other people to think that I was like this person. I was reminded that everyone needs a little help sometimes and it is through our hands that His miracles or blessings can come true. I hope I will start to be the friend that this person deserves. I had a friend a long time ago that started going back to church and I was not yet ready. She did something that was unexcusable and just threw me away like I was nothing because I was not willing to change with her. I hope I can be a better person than that. People just need you to be there for them no matter what, like my Mom. She is the most wonderful person in the world. A lot of people do not really know my story, but here is a little peak at it. I fell away from the church when I was about 17 years old. I tried going back many times but was never really ready to. I married someone that I was completely in love with and he was even baptized into the church. We were married for a little over 3 years and we had a beautiful little girl. A year ago last week, I think, my Mom found out she had cancer. It was devastating. I got mad at Him. My mom does everything she is suppose to and yet he was willing to let her go through this. Then I went to see her. She was happy and not what I was expecting. She was strong and scared at the same time. She knew that He would help her through it and He would ease her pain. Before I left that day she asked me to make her a promise. That promise was to start going back to church and to make sure her granddaughter grew up in the church. I said I would. She was going through Kemo and Raditaion. She was throwing up and miserable. Yet, all she wanted was for me to come back to Him. All she cared about was me returning to church. She is wonderful and miraculous. through her hands He helped me. I went home that day and my life had completely changed. My husband was unsupportive and hurtful. I prayed for the first time in a long time and I knew what I was suppose to do. It took me about a week of fighting it but I asked him to leave and that I wanted a divorce. God never said it would be easy, but He did say it would be worth it. 6 to 7 months later my Mom sat beside me while I took out my endowment. I think about my life and where I might be if I had not made the changes that I needed. All I do is then smile because I did. I made the changes and I am happier now than I have ever been. Some people are able to live their lives with a testimony that never faltered. I was not one of those people. It took my world being turned upside down a few times before I was able to see. But I promise you that I will never turn my back on Him again. I wake up every day knowing that I am doing my best and I am happy because of it. I started listening to this Christian rock band called Fireflight. The song "What I've Overcome" has great meaning to me and if you get a chance listen to it on youtube.com. "I'm not what I have done, I'm what I've overcome." Those words mean so much to me. I love the Gospel and everything that comes with it. My testimony may be as simple as a child's, but it is strong and immovable. I thank God for giving His son to us to give us a chance to come home to Him one day. I thank Jesus for giving up his life for us. I thank and love Him for giving me that 2nd or 10th chance that I needed. Life is still hard but I am not going through it alone anymore. I am thankful for the scriptures and the stories that I am able to read about everyday. They bring new perspectives to my life and help me get through. I am thankful for the ability to pray and ask for help. Prayer keeps me going. It reminds me that He is there just waiting for me to come home to him. I know that when life is hard for me at times that he is right there with me crying because I am. I know that I am going to make it home to Him. It is going to be tough, but I will. Trying to rasie a daughter is hard. Trying to go to school and work full time is hard. Trying to start my own business is hard. Trying to do all those things at once is even harder. But I am doing it and I know that I would not be where I am now if it were not for His guidance and His blessings. I hope that one day I can be His hands for someone else like my Mom was for me. I am sorry this is so long but I just have so much inside that I just felt I needed to get out.