Color

Which is better? To have lived in color or shades of grey? I can honestly say that I wish I had lived in grey. But I also think that I would not be who I am without the color I added to my life. Color brought me to my knees. Color showed me who I did not want to be. Color brought my daughter. Color molded me into the grey I am now. But color hurt. Color brought me down. Color showed me things I wish I never saw. Color brought me pain.
People who have lived grey lives are so special. They were and are able to continue through live without ever faultering. Without having to play with the red they lived and loved grey. They never faulted from God.
I wish I could say that I always trusted God and his Plan. I wish I could say that I never put myself before Him. I did. I did for years. But who is to say that the person who never faultered is better than the one who did? I believe we are equal. At least in the sight of God.
Ya I have stories that I hide and pieces of me that I try to keep vaulted up, but they made me who I am today. My color brought me back home. Ya I wish I could have been the person that lived their live in grey, but I cannot and that is okay.
I have learned so many things in my life. I have seen and been through things that a lot of people will never have to see or go through. I have seen pain, abuse, and tears. I have been to the very bottom and back. I have loved and loved hard with hardly anything in return.
I have also seen strength and courage. I have felt warmth and tenderness. I have felt true love from God and wish that everyone could feel it. I hope that my color will somehow help others the way it helped me. I hope that my daughter will be the kind of person that can learn from others mistakes. Like her mothers... But if she does faulter she will still be loved. She will always be able to come home.
Because that is what love is. Loving no matter what. Loving the good and the bad. Helping each other grow and move forward. Bringing the best out of each other instead of the worst. She will always be loved and welcome in my arms. No matter what. I can already see that she is going to be a great teacher and example for me. I just hope my color does not hurt her more than it already has.