Life should be a little less drama filled from now on. I have been having a really hard time dealing with Shaelyn's dad and I decided that I needed to free myself of the pain. I talked with him and told him that becuase of the drama and the abuse that I have been putting up with, I have decided to look over the divorce papers and give him visitation rights of only what they say I should. No more of this giving him more than he deserves stuff that I always seem to do. I feel sorry for him and I give into him. No more.
I told him that he is able to see her every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night. He is welcome to call her anytime he wants. He is also abel to visit her one time for a few hours each week. But because he does not pay child support he will have to pay for the cost of her traveling back and forth. I am sick of doing both of our parts.
There is a lot more to the story but some things just do not need to be repeated. All I am going to say is that Shaelyn deserves so much more than what he gives her. She deserves a Dad that will love her always and forever. She is more important than anything in the world. She is more important than any amount of money and I would never give her up.
Well after our conversation he came up with a solution to his problem. He has decided to just not see her. He has said that he cannot deal with those terms so he is done.
I hope it sticks. I hope he is not going to be one of those dads that come in and out of her life. I hope that he really is going to disappear out of her life. She will be so much better off without the drama of his world. He treated her well but she deserves better.
I truly hope and pray that he really is gone. It will be better for her if he leaves now instead of later. She deserves a better life than this and I am going to give it to her.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Five Love Languages
This is a book written by Gary Chapman. It is about how different personalities express love in different ways. There are five different ways in which we speak our love. The five areas include: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. There is a test online that you can take so you can know which love language fits you. Just go to http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp and take the test!
Even if you do not buy the book it is really cool to know what language you speak. But the book goes into detail about your language and the others so that you can speak other peoples also. Knowing another persons language can help you show your love for them. If I love by doing things for you and you feel loved by me saying kind words than even if I love you, you are not feeling my love because we are speaking different languages. It is a great book... :)
So I took the test and this was my score:
Words of Affirmation 23% or 7 points
Quality Time 27% or 8 points
Receiving Gifts 0% or 0 points
Acts of Service 13% or 4 points
Physical Touch 37% or 11 points
My primary Love Language is Physical Touch and my second would be both Words of Affirmation and Quality. When I sit and think about it... It is dead on! I need the hand holding, hugs, cuddling, and even just that kiss on the cheek. During a movie I need to be next to you to feel your feelings for me. But at the same time I also need the words that say I think you are great and I need the quality time together. When I am interested in someone I try to spend as much time as I can with them. I like to know that they want to spend time with me also.
So I know what my Love Language is. It makes complete sense. I am now reading this book so that I can learn to speak someone else's. I want to be able to show the person I fall in love with that I love them. But in the way that they feel loved. I want to continue to love even after the honeymoon stage. I want the mature love that lasts forever.
Even if you do not buy the book it is really cool to know what language you speak. But the book goes into detail about your language and the others so that you can speak other peoples also. Knowing another persons language can help you show your love for them. If I love by doing things for you and you feel loved by me saying kind words than even if I love you, you are not feeling my love because we are speaking different languages. It is a great book... :)
So I took the test and this was my score:
Words of Affirmation 23% or 7 points
Quality Time 27% or 8 points
Receiving Gifts 0% or 0 points
Acts of Service 13% or 4 points
Physical Touch 37% or 11 points
My primary Love Language is Physical Touch and my second would be both Words of Affirmation and Quality. When I sit and think about it... It is dead on! I need the hand holding, hugs, cuddling, and even just that kiss on the cheek. During a movie I need to be next to you to feel your feelings for me. But at the same time I also need the words that say I think you are great and I need the quality time together. When I am interested in someone I try to spend as much time as I can with them. I like to know that they want to spend time with me also.
So I know what my Love Language is. It makes complete sense. I am now reading this book so that I can learn to speak someone else's. I want to be able to show the person I fall in love with that I love them. But in the way that they feel loved. I want to continue to love even after the honeymoon stage. I want the mature love that lasts forever.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
This post is going to be a little different than most of my others. I am a little frustrated lately.
I lived with a guy for 4 years that said he loved me. I did everything for him. I changed my enitre life for him. I stopped talking to friends, family and even just people that tried to chat. I changed my look and my attitude. I did all of this for him. Why? Because I thought we were in Love and I was trying to be his everything. I tried being the person he wanted me to be. I worked full time and hardly saw any of the money. It went towards his toys, habits, and hobbies. I gave him everything. Well to much of everyone's surprise we got divorced because it just wasn't working out... (Surprise!) Obviously there is a lot more to that.
I loved him. I gave him everything. I gave him my whole heart. A part of my heart will always be with him. He is the father of my daughter and we spent 4 years together. We cried and laughed together. Yes I have moved on but it still hurts.
Every few months he calls, texts, or talks to me about how he misses me. Talks about how beautiful I am and that he loves me and will always love me. He say's he would love for us to try again.
Are you kidding me?! After four years of tears and heartache he wants to try again? I loved him but will never be in love with him again. After all the pain I was put through it is almost sickening think of being apart of that life again.
But it still hurts. It hurts to hear him say I love you. It was so hard to say goodbye. Still to this day it makes me cry jsut thinking about the fact that I could not make us work. I know I did everything in my power. Why could he have not loved me more? Why could he have not cared about us just a little more? Could he not see that he was killing me inside? Did he really even care? All these thoughts and more go through my mind and make all the feelings of the past come back.
He can still make me cry and I hate it. I hate the effect that he can have on me. He has no idea what it was like trying to make us work. He has no idea how much I really loved him. I mean I hope he doesn't because if he did and still treated me that way, shame on him!
Holidays are so hard when you do not have someone to love adn hold through them. Couldn't he just forget about us and move on for good? It would sure make my feelings a lot easier to handle.
Sorry about the depressing blog today but I needed to get it out...
I lived with a guy for 4 years that said he loved me. I did everything for him. I changed my enitre life for him. I stopped talking to friends, family and even just people that tried to chat. I changed my look and my attitude. I did all of this for him. Why? Because I thought we were in Love and I was trying to be his everything. I tried being the person he wanted me to be. I worked full time and hardly saw any of the money. It went towards his toys, habits, and hobbies. I gave him everything. Well to much of everyone's surprise we got divorced because it just wasn't working out... (Surprise!) Obviously there is a lot more to that.
I loved him. I gave him everything. I gave him my whole heart. A part of my heart will always be with him. He is the father of my daughter and we spent 4 years together. We cried and laughed together. Yes I have moved on but it still hurts.
Every few months he calls, texts, or talks to me about how he misses me. Talks about how beautiful I am and that he loves me and will always love me. He say's he would love for us to try again.
Are you kidding me?! After four years of tears and heartache he wants to try again? I loved him but will never be in love with him again. After all the pain I was put through it is almost sickening think of being apart of that life again.
But it still hurts. It hurts to hear him say I love you. It was so hard to say goodbye. Still to this day it makes me cry jsut thinking about the fact that I could not make us work. I know I did everything in my power. Why could he have not loved me more? Why could he have not cared about us just a little more? Could he not see that he was killing me inside? Did he really even care? All these thoughts and more go through my mind and make all the feelings of the past come back.
He can still make me cry and I hate it. I hate the effect that he can have on me. He has no idea what it was like trying to make us work. He has no idea how much I really loved him. I mean I hope he doesn't because if he did and still treated me that way, shame on him!
Holidays are so hard when you do not have someone to love adn hold through them. Couldn't he just forget about us and move on for good? It would sure make my feelings a lot easier to handle.
Sorry about the depressing blog today but I needed to get it out...
Richard C. Edgley
Choose faith over doubt,
choose faith over fear,
choose faith over the unknown and the unseen,
and choose faith over pessimism.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friendship
The nicest place in all the world is right beside a friend.
A friend is one who creates a circle of belonging, a sacred space in which all is safe, all is calm, all is good.
Sharing laughter, sharing tears, sharing triumphs, sharing fears, growing closer through the years... true friendship is forever.
There are not many thigns in life as beautiful as true friendship, and there are not many things more uncommon.
A real friend listens with their heart and nevers stops believing in you even if you give up on yourself.
I like to think that we are sent special friends to share our lives, very special friends we can be ourselves with, talk with, laugh with, hope with... special friends like you.
A friend understands the unspoken thougths in your heart.
I thought I would share some inspiring friendship quotes with others. Sometimes we just need a remind of how important it is to have good, true friends. But it is more important to be a true friend. Be there no matter what. Do not believe the rumors. Do not ever give up on them. Stop talking and just listen too. True friends love you no matter what. They are there to lift you up, not bring you down. I have a great friend. A true friend. I am so glad she is in my life. Unlike some people I was lucky enough to find her. I love you too!
A friend is one who creates a circle of belonging, a sacred space in which all is safe, all is calm, all is good.
Sharing laughter, sharing tears, sharing triumphs, sharing fears, growing closer through the years... true friendship is forever.
There are not many thigns in life as beautiful as true friendship, and there are not many things more uncommon.
A real friend listens with their heart and nevers stops believing in you even if you give up on yourself.
I like to think that we are sent special friends to share our lives, very special friends we can be ourselves with, talk with, laugh with, hope with... special friends like you.
A friend understands the unspoken thougths in your heart.
I thought I would share some inspiring friendship quotes with others. Sometimes we just need a remind of how important it is to have good, true friends. But it is more important to be a true friend. Be there no matter what. Do not believe the rumors. Do not ever give up on them. Stop talking and just listen too. True friends love you no matter what. They are there to lift you up, not bring you down. I have a great friend. A true friend. I am so glad she is in my life. Unlike some people I was lucky enough to find her. I love you too!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Joshua 1:9
Be STRONG and of a good COURAGE, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee.
Halloween Pictures done by Kara!
This photo shoot was really fun. Although Shaelyn was not wanting to be there and sit there for it, they turned out great! I am so happy I was able to capture these moments of her. Holidays are hard when you know you will not have your child for the same holiday next year. So we did everything we coudl think of to make this year great! We did pictures, a maze, train ride, pumpkin patch, little zoo, redneck trampoline, trunk-or-treating, and we even made cookies together. This holiday was great! I am so glad I was able to spend Halloween with her.
Monday, November 1, 2010
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