Birthdays and growing up

So I love birthdays... Well I used to love them. I still do not mind my birthday because lets face it beign 24 is not old. But when my daughter has a birthday if makes me feel really old. I mean she is turnign 3! 3! She is not a baby anymore... She talks to me and tells me how she feels. She has her own mind and attitude... She is learning so many things and I am just soo overwhelmed that it feels like she is growing up without me. I get to watch her grow up right now because I am home but as soon as I go back to work I will be missing so much again. I didn't even get to see her first step! I saw her take a step and I freaked out like wow I am seeing her first step and then I was told that she did that the other day and no one told me! I miss so much of her first's that I hate it. I hate the thought of having to go back to work. I want to be the one to teach her how to read and write. I want to teach her everything that she will learn. But because of my choices in life I cannot. I have to rely on a daycare to teach her the things that I am dying to do with her. Atleast I can say I helped teach her to count to 11! We are working on 12 but thirteen seems to always come next. I can also say that I helped her learn shapes and colors. Still in the process of both but most of the time she gets it. I want to be the one that teaches my girl to become a young lady. I want to be the one that is always there. I want to be like my mom. She was there when I got stung by a bee, when I scraped my knee, and any other crying fit I had. I want Shaelyn to be able to run to me everytime she gets her or just wants a hug!!!! I cannot wait till school is done and I can be there for her all the time. Well I guess so that I can be there for her more since I will still have to work. WHATEVER! Okay I think I am done ranting and raving... Happy Birthday to Shaelyn tomorrow!!! Wow I am a mom of a 3 year old girl. That is just crazy!